Impossible and Dirty
On the precipice of currency
infuriatingly
drugged and delirious
impossible and dirty
courteous out of insincerity
On the precipice of currency
infuriatingly
drugged and delirious
impossible and dirty
courteous out of insincerity
I spent some of my loneliest times
pacing on my prop phone talking to
what i wished was you but was silence
O Hopeless show business gophers-
boasting pet projects over and over.
Producers: seducers of substance abusers,
celluloid delusions both rumored and lucid.
Harsh, baseless, laced with numerous tumors.
Hollywood farce faced with humorless ruiners.
In your absence I think of you in abstract
Time’s cataracts find no match in my mind’s counterattacks:
I rewind nostalgia tracks and line em up back to back.
Living in the past catches flack from the present cast,
blasted resentment for contentment that never lasts.
Continental distance grabs my hands and demands insistence
I’m convinced this is more than reminiscence
or the infinite imprints of infants in remission.
Worthless,
Mirthless,
Shirtless
and birthless.
Scared shitless of
Murderers
and Goethes.
This year was the very first year
I found out years were finite
instead of a continuous onslaught
as I had interpreted years before
I worried;
I worried on and on
needlessly but a new urgency
emerged in me hurting me-
needling me. Each pin feeding
my soul’s aperture
slow and deliberate ant acupuncturer
plugs, flat-billed hat,
tats, dickey shorts,
dickey pants,
black socks, piercings,
lifted truck, riversiding,
dirtbike riding,
bud light tallboy drinking:
bro stuff.
government covenants
grant a sense of bewonderment
pieces of paper to hold life in
like oven mitts.
i’ll be pissed off like
a second story balcony
balkin at low-rent
imitators jockin me
when i say you’re the best
it’s like an only child
there is no rest
where to adorn my wiles
it’s more like a jest,
no disrespect
to be somebody’s pestering
sole favorite
